Couples Worksheet
This day is about the two of you, and the ceremony
should reflect that. That’s why I love to make it very personal and all about your lives together. In order to do that, I’m asking you to do some fun, brief projects that will allow me to know you better and share with the audience about you. Nobody comes to a wedding to be bored or hear a sermon, they want to hear about the couple--so help me share about you both.

I don’t mean this to feel like an assignment, but it should be fun to express your feelings to one another. It’s easiest if you email me the answers, and I won’t need them until about a week before the wedding. 

 

 

1.      Together write a brief description of how you met, what made you fall in love, and the proposal.

 

2.      Make a brief list of the character qualities that attract you to your fiancé.

 

3.      Briefly write a few words explaining the following.....

• Why you are convinced you both are right for each other

• Why you believe this is the right time for you to marry.

 

4.      Briefly describe a situation or experience you had together that somewhat epitomizes your relationship. Oftentimes funny situations work well---something that shows each person's characteristics and/or how your relationship really is.

 

5.      Look over the Topics for Discussion Sheet to see if there are any unresolved issues that you would like to discuss.

 

6.      Look at the Ceremony Outline below and make any needed changes. We will discuss what to include in the ceremony at a future meeting.

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Ceremony Outline

 

 

Prelude/ Ushers seat Guests

Chris Enters

Mothers escorted in (by groom, family member, or usher)

Bridesmaids and Groomsmen enter

Flowergirl & Ringbearer

Bride and Father enter

Giving of the Bride

Introductory Prayer

Introductory remarks and Welcome

Preliminary Vows--"I Do's"

Message on the Meaning of Marriage

Vows

Exchange of the Rings

Prayer of Dedication

Pronouncement of Marriage

THE KISS!

Introduction of the Couple

Recessional

Pictures

Reception

 

*Please feel free to change the order, add, or delete any of these elements.  They are listed primarily to help you think through what you might want for your ceremony. Other ideas may include a Reading, a Song, Flowers to Parents, or Sand Ceremony.

 

**Unity candles can be difficult outside, but there are alternatives such as drinking from a common wine glass or combining different colors of sand in a vase.

 

***The Preliminary vows are statements that I will read, and you will answer “I do”.  The other Vows are statements that you will either repeat after me or read to one another. Feel free to write your own, rewrite those offered, read off a card, or just repeat after me!

 

****Think through whether you want the bridesmaids and groomsmen to walk down together or have the men standing up front awaiting the ladies.

 

*****Most ceremonies last 20-25 minutes depending on how many elements are added.  This seems to be long enough to make it special, but also not too long.

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Sample Vows


I (Groom) take you, (Bride) to be my wife, my partner in life and my one true love.

I will cherish our friendship and love you today, tomorrow and forever.

I will trust you and honor you.

I will laugh with you and cry with you.

I will love you faithfully

Through the best and the worst,

What may come I will always be there.

As I have given you my hand to hold

So I give you my life to keep. So help me God.

 

 

I ______________take you ______________

To be my wife from this time onward

To join with you and to share with you

All that is to come

To give and to receive

To speak and to listen

To inspire and to respond

And in all our life

To be faithful to you

And to cherish you

With my whole being

As long as we both shall live.

 

 

I, _________ take you _____

to be my wife/ husband,

to have and to hold,

for better or for worse,

for richer or poorer,

in sickness and in health,

to love and to cherish;

from this day forward

until death do us part.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

Possible Readings
 

I Corinthians 13

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

 

 

The Union by Robert Fulghum

 

You have known each other from the first glance of acquaintance to this point of commitment. At some point, you decided to marry. From that moment of yes to this moment of yes, indeed, you have been making promises and agreements in an informal way. All those conversations that were held riding in a car or over a meal or during long walks - all those sentences that began with “When we’re married” and continued with “I will and you will and we will”- those late night talks that included “someday” and “somehow” and “maybe”- and all those promises that are unspoken matters of the heart. All these common things, and more, are the real process of a wedding. The symbolic vows that you are about to make are a way of saying to one another, “ You know all those things we’ve promised and hoped and dreamed- well, I meant it all, every word.” Look at one another and remember this moment in time. Before this moment you have been many things to one another- acquaintance, friend, companion, lover, dancing partner, and even teacher, for you have learned much from one another in these last few years. Now you shall say a few words that take you across a threshold of life, and things will never quite be the same between you. For after these vows, you shall say to the world, this- is my husband, this- is my wife.

 

 

Hand Ceremony

 

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow, and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your future. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other. These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief fills your mind. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes; tears of sorrow, and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children. These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it. And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

Hands Of The Bride And Groom

 

Maid of Honor: [Bride], please face [Groom], and hold his hands, palms up, so you see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears of sorrow and tears of joy. These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or grief fill you. These are the hands that will give you support and celebrate with you in your accomplishments.

 

Best Man: [Groom], please hold [Bride's] hands, palms up, where you may see the gift that they are to you. These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times. They are the hands that will comfort you when you are sick or console you when you are grieving. These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, for a lifetime of happiness. These are the hands that will give you support as she encourages you to fulfill your dreams. Together, as a team, everything you wish for can be realized.

 

 

 

The Art of Marriage by Wilferd Arlan Peterson

 

Happiness in marriage is not something that just happens.

A good marriage must be created.
In the art of marriage the little things are the big things…

It is never being too old to hold hands.

It is remembering to say “I love you” at least once a day.

It is never going to sleep angry.

It is at no time taking the other for granted; the courtship should not end with the honeymoon, it should continue through all the years.

It is having a mutual sense of values and common objectives.
It is standing together facing the world.

It is forming a circle of love that gathers in the whole family.

It is doing things for each other, not in the attitude of duty or sacrifice, but in the spirit of joy.

It is speaking words of appreciation and demonstrating gratitude in thoughtful ways.

It is not looking for perfection in each other.
It is cultivating flexibility, patience, understanding and a sense of humour.

It is having the capacity to forgive and forget.

It is giving each other an atmosphere in which each can grow.

It is finding room for the things of the spirit.
It is a common search for the good and the beautiful.

It is establishing a relationship in which the independence is equal, dependence is mutual and the obligation is reciprocal.

It is not only marrying the right partner, it is being the right partner.

It is discovering what marriage can be, at its best.

 

 

Apache Wedding Blessing

 

Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be shelter for the other.

Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be warmth for the other.

Now there is no more loneliness.

Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you.

May your days together be good and long upon the earth.

 

 

Scripture Readings

Genesis 2:21-24

Proverbs 3:5-6

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12

Psalm 34:3

Matthew 6:33

Matthew 7:24-27

John 13:34-35

Romans 12:9-11

I Corinthians 13:1-8, 13

Galatians 5:22-23

Ephesians 5:1

Philippians 2:2-11

Hebrews 10:24-25

II Peter 1:5-9

I John 4:7-12